Today my boyfriend Charlie lost his Uncle to cancer. The uncle that he loved so much. I am utterly devastated for his whole family. The only time I’ve experienced the effect of cancer on families was when my own grandfather died, but I was only 4 at the time … however I do have some very vivid memories from the time when he was ill, so maybe that shows how much it did effect young me. However this inexperience with losing people close to me means I’m finding it hard to know what words to offer to make Charlie feel better. However I tried to explain to him that I’m not sure what I believe about heaven and such things, but that I do believe that there is a type of heaven made up of our memories of the people we have loved and lost, and that therefore those people will always be with us. We will always remember how they were, how they acted and always think ‘what would they say’ when we are confronted with difficult decisions in life. Therefore these memories are so vivid that that person will always carry on guiding us through life, we will always consider their advice and what they would think was the right thing to do. I know from my family that my grandpa use to call me JC because I ate so many Jaffa Cakes and also called me his ‘Iz Biz’ … from what I know of him he’s someone I would of got along with very well as I grew up, and I’ve always wondered what he would of said about my achievements and my downfalls. It’s nice to have those memories and I don’t think anyone should shy away from remembering those that aren’t with us anymore.
Here is a water colour card I have made for Charlie and his family, his uncle was very fond of dragons and had a dragon tattoo on his back. When his uncle was first diagnosed with cancer his mom got a dragon tattoo on her wrist in the shape of an ‘S’, the first letter of his name. I think it is always something I will remember. I wish all the best to this family that is so dear to me, and really hope in the many years I am part of their family that I can help them celebrate his memory.